14 - 02 - 2017

I'm gonna write it down in English soalnya kalo pake Bahasa bakal ketauan siapa hehe.

Hey! Its me, once again

Whats up!

You must've been so busy with your college stuff and class, that you should be in your University everyday, everytime, only standby-ing to your incoming works.

Ah capek ah nulis pake Inggris, kosakata nya sedikit. Lanjutannya pake bahasa Indonesia ya 

Jangan lupa istirahat, jangan lupa makan siang, spare waktu yang cukup buat tidur malem. Memang ketinggalan pelajaran seminggu full itu gak asik, cuman pengalaman yang lo dapetin sebanding koks!

Dan jujur aja sih gue bangga sama lo pas gue tau pertama kali lo jadi Koorfak. Buat gue, mengepalai sebuah organisasi di tingkat Fakultas itu gak gampang, apalagi di tingkat Universitas. Gak cuma tradisi dan kegiatan organisasi itu yang harus diurusin, anak - anak yang gak aktif tapi numpang nama juga harus dibredel biar jadi aktif. Pokoknya kegiatan apapun yang lo jalanin, jangan lupa istirahat lah, dan lo harus janji itu sama gue oke! 

Semoga setelah post ini keluar, obrolan kita makin lancar ya, gak malah awkward HAHAHA :"))

Happy Valentine's Day! 

Best Regards,

me! 

A confession(s).

honestly, i always thought the same : 

i'm wondering whos gonna visit me in the hospital when i crashed my car

i'm wondering if theres a life after death

i'm wondering if my surgery procedure went wrong and i cant walk for the rest of my life

and,

i'm wondering what'll happen if we didn't met 

apparently, 

i also never think about myself more than i thought of others

you know, that "others first" thing

and sometimes i let myself being upset, torn, and dissapointed just to see people's happiness.

thats the worst side of me.

before i met her, i thought that my life not gonna change at all

thinking about others more that myself,

and then she came, and pretty much changed everything.

I know her from a very best friend of mine

We gave each other’s contact in his car

And from that day, we started talking about everything

Literally, everything

Day by day, month by month, we passed together

Good memories always following us

Also the bad ones

We enjoyed every moment that we had since day one

And I have no regret about doing it

Until one day, she has to go to Yogyakarta to continue her study

Situations are still the same, except for couple things :

·         I cant meet her, face to face, everyday

·         I should believe in her for everything that she does over there

At first, it was a very hard thing for me to do

My mind went everywhere

All that I was thinking is “dia pulang sama siapa?” and “dia ngapain aja ya disana?”

This is what she is talking about

Her other half

Insecurities.

As time goes by, that other half slowly disappear

Making our relationship stronger than before

But then, everything changed once again when I go to college

Her other half, showed itself

And its dominating her

With one snap of two fingers, she went from happy to being full with dissapointment

She cannot control herself, in fact her other half is controlling her

I really don’t know when she said “I should try to be less insecure” she does really mean it, or not

And I really don’t know if she really tried it.

All I want to say is,

Even when im tired of you

Or even if I cant take it anymore

I wont leave you.

I’m fine to spend my energy and time to deal with you,

I’m willing to do it

And I really hope that you kicked insecurity’s ass tho…

You’re not realized yet how worthed you are, for me

But I realized it,

And I’ll accompany you fighting through it.

You managed to change my whole life, and directing it to a good way

Now let me change yours.

About Last Night

Only given a month to spent with
Doesn't make me lose my feelings towards you.

We do so many things
In a month
Even we shared our firsts
In a month

And now you are going away, again
You created a new beggining and left an old end
Starting a new chapter in this long distance shit
And growing my trust to another level

Even though you are far away
At least we are under the same sky
Watching the same stars
Dreamed about each others presence


I do love you even more everytime you left.

Morning Thoughts

I hate the way i can never be mad at you.

The way you looked so perfect
With no mistakes at all
Makes me wonder how lucky I was
To have you

The way you always forgive my behaviour
Over and over again
And then putting them aside
To start a new chapter of conversation

The way you act like a woman
Hoping for the best in me
With no perfection at all in me
Making sure that everything is alright

The way you accepted me for who i was
For all my mistakes and my confronting thing
That were bad and not making sense at all

I know that you're not okay, deeply
For making you worthless that easily
And making you more insecure
Day by day

I hate that i made you being like this
It shouldn't supposed to happen
My regrets won't make me change
But will change you

The point is,
I hate that i can never be mad at you
For whatever i do

And i'm sorry for that.


January 13th, 2016.
06:49 WIB.

.

18 tahun mencicipi kehidupan duniawi, tidak merubah semuanya.
Mungkin hanya raga, dan pribadi yang berubah
Tidak dengan jiwa.

Bagaikan sebutir pasir di dalam samudera
Ya. Saya sesendiri itu.

Dunia ini luas
Orang berlalu-lalang, bercengkrama
Menikmati setiap detik yang mereka punya
Bersama dengan kerabat yang mereka miliki.

Tak semua merasakan ramai ketika sedang ramai
Diri tidak bisa bohong
Antara meramaikan dalam sepi
Atau diam dalam keramaian.

2 hari menjelang Natal, masih belum berubah
Melihat satpam sedang menutup Museum Fatahillah
Melihat pedagang yang membereskan dagangannya
Menikmati cahaya lampu di Utara Jakarta

Inilah cara saya menikmati detik tersebut
Menjadi sebutir pasir di dalam samudera
Menjadi kecil dan semakin kecil
Menghilang dalam keramaian
Diam dalam sendiri.