honestly, i always thought the same :
i'm wondering whos gonna visit me in the hospital when i crashed my car
i'm wondering if theres a life after death
i'm wondering if my surgery procedure went wrong and i cant walk for the rest of my life
and,
i'm wondering what'll happen if we didn't met
apparently,
i also never think about myself more than i thought of others
you know, that "others first" thing
and sometimes i let myself being upset, torn, and dissapointed just to see people's happiness.
thats the worst side of me.
before i met her, i thought that my life not gonna change at all
thinking about others more that myself,
and then she came, and pretty much changed everything.
I know her from a very best friend of mine
We gave each other’s contact in his car
And from that day, we started talking about everything
Literally, everything
Day by day, month by month, we passed together
Good memories always following us
Also the bad ones
We enjoyed every moment that we had since day one
And I have no regret about doing it
Until one day, she has to go to Yogyakarta to continue her study
Situations are still the same, except for couple things :
· I cant meet her, face to face, everyday
· I should believe in her for everything that she does over there
At first, it was a very hard thing for me to do
My mind went everywhere
All that I was thinking is “dia pulang sama siapa?” and “dia ngapain aja ya disana?”
This is what she is talking about
Her other half
Insecurities.
As time goes by, that other half slowly disappear
Making our relationship stronger than before
But then, everything changed once again when I go to college
Her other half, showed itself
And its dominating her
With one snap of two fingers, she went from happy to being full with dissapointment
She cannot control herself, in fact her other half is controlling her
I really don’t know when she said “I should try to be less insecure” she does really mean it, or not
And I really don’t know if she really tried it.
All I want to say is,
Even when im tired of you
Or even if I cant take it anymore
I wont leave you.
I’m fine to spend my energy and time to deal with you,
I’m willing to do it
And I really hope that you kicked insecurity’s ass tho…
You’re not realized yet how worthed you are, for me
But I realized it,
And I’ll accompany you fighting through it.
You managed to change my whole life, and directing it to a good way
Now let me change yours.